Sugar Plums or Prozac. How do you face Christmas or the Holidays?
The Christmas Stress Test—–Quiz by Christie Barnes
Are you headed for sugar plums or Prozac this Christmas? Are you setting yourself up for a stressful holiday?
Parenting expert Christie Barnes brings facts and top research to bear in helping you to prepare for a time of loving togetherness, to steer you away from setting yourself up for three nightmare weeks, cooped up with sugar-plum hyped kids swinging from boredom to impatience to frantic excitement; coping with the stress and guilt from kids who believe Santa can bring $1000’s in toys because “he makes them for free”; appearing the perfect host to ‘critical’ in-laws; and making sure the tree doesn’t burn the house down.
Answer this quiz to find out if you are headed for sugar plums or Prozac. The answers will give you the knowledge to ‘worry less’ at Christmas.
Will you be a worrying wreck—Helicopter Parent, or Holiday-obsessed maniac– Elf, a slacker ‘bah humbug’, or a level-headed Positive parent even in the face of the Black Friday mob, or a lazy Slacker parent Bah-humbugging to get out of making an effort. Find the answers below.
1. ‘Appearing live at the mall’ Santa Claus
a. Won’t go, might be a pedophile.
b. A photo with Santa every year.
c. Santa is a lie.
2. When buying Holiday gifts
a. The toys have to educational.
b. I research by reading my kids’ Santa list more than researching toys on the web.
c. I give my kids gift cards.
3. Ornaments
a. All plastic.
b. No lights, they cause fires, and just bows.
c. Precious ornaments handed down in the family.
4. What kind of tree do you get?
a. Artificial tree because it is fire retardant.
b. Real.
c. Artificial tree because it lasts forever so is more environmentally friendly.
5. Deck the house–Atmospheric lighting
a. Real candles.
b. LED battery fake flickering candles.
c. No candles.
6. Spend on children
a. Within your budget.
b. Over your budget.
c. Under your budget.
7. Electronics Wii’s and Nintendo Kinect’s
a. Great games for the whole family to play together.
b. Never, and we have minimum TV channels by choice.
c. Electronic babysitters with unlimited play hours.
8. Parents’ time out—your right to settle down for a long winter’s nap.
a. Parent will spend time alone even if it is for 20 minutes each day during the holidays to recharge.
b. No alone time whatsoever.
c. Booked the kids for a New Year’s Kids Night Out sleepover at the local kids club to go party all night.
9. Decorate the house
a. Decorations go up the day after Halloween and come down Valentine’s Day.
b. Decorations go up the day after Thanksgiving.
c. Bah humbug!
10. Christmas clothing
a. Get dressed up for Christmas dinner.
b. Wear Christmas themed sweatshirts, sweaters, Santa hats and ties for weeks ahead.
c. Dress your children in Santa suits.
ANSWERS
1. ‘Appearing live at the mall’ Santa Claus
a. Won’t go, might be a pedophile. [Helicopter. In some states, registered pedophiles are not allowed to take these jobs. Great uncle Joe (ie family and friends) are the abusers over 99% of the time.]
b. A photo with Santa every year. [Elf. Great if you can afford it.]
c. Santa is a lie. [Slacker. It can be a nice tradition. My daughter wasn’t disappointed when she learned it was Mom and Dad (but appreciated it more; now she helps for her younger brothers and sister.]
2. When buying Holiday gifts
a. The toys have to educational. [Helicopter. All toys are educational as long as a parent plays along too.]
b. I research by reading my kids’ Santa list more than researching toys on the web. [Positive Parent—kids and family are what it is all about.]
c. I give my kids gift cards. [Slacker-- if your kids are under 10. For teen girls, absolutely sensible.]
3. Ornaments
a. All plastic. [Positive Parent--With small children opt for the non-breakable.]
b. No lights, they cause fires, and just bows. [Helicopter--Lights properly strung do not create enough heat to start a fire.]
c. Precious ornaments handed down in the family. [Elf—tradition should wait if you have small children.]
4. What kind of tree do you get?
a. Artificial tree because it is fire retardant. [Slacker—artificial trees burn faster than real.]
b. Real. [Positive Parent—real trees are better for the environment and don’t burn as fast.]
c. Artificial tree because it lasts forever so is more environmentally friendly. [Helicopter—this is a common ‘helicopter’misconception. Most people throw away their artificial trees in 9 years or less and, as made out of PVC and other plastics, they do not degrade in landfills for 1000s of years.]
5. Deck the house–Atmospheric lighting
a. Real candles. [Slacker or Elf. These can cause house fires although the biggest cause of Christmas fires are the kitchen—people forget to watch the stove while greeting guests.]
b. LED battery fake flickering candles. [Positive. Great choice.]
c. No candles. [Slacker. Create some atmosphere and some traditions.]
6. Spend on children
a. Within your budget. [It is your decision—your budget, not the neighbors. The average Christmas/holiday spend is predicted to be about $710 per family.]
b. Over your budget. [It is your decision but don’t teach your kids to feel entitled to whatever they want.]
c. Under your budget. [It is your decision—GOOD LUCK.]
7. Electronics Wii’s and Nintendo Kinect’s
a. Great games for the whole family to play together. [Positive—families together! Doing, not watching, not shopping. Hurrah!]
b. Never, and we have minimum TV channels by choice. [Helicopter—parent-led TV viewing and game-playing can be educational and kids socially do discuss some shows.]
c. Electronic babysitters with unlimited play hours. [Slacker—we all need some ‘toy babysitting’ time, just try to choose role playing, art, building, but with moderation, okay (not on school nights).]
8. Parents’ time out—your right to settle down for a long winter’s nap.
a. Parent will spend time alone even if it is for 20 minutes each day during the holidays to recharge. [Positive. Take a break before losing it.]
b. No alone time whatsoever. [Helicopter. Of course you can’t leave toddlers unattended but try to get a break.]
c. Booked the kids for a New Year’s Kids Night Out sleepover at the local kids club to go party all night. [Slacker. Maybe, but ask what kind of family memories you are creating.]
9. Decorate the house
a. Decorations go up the day after Halloween and come down Valentine’s Day. [ It is your choice.]
b. Decorations go up the day after Thanksgiving. [It is your choice.]
c. Bah humbug! [It is your choice but traditions give a sense of identity and family togetherness.]
10. Christmas clothing
a. Get dressed up for Christmas dinner. [Positive—great tradition.]
b. Wear Christmas themed sweatshirts, sweaters, Santa hats and ties for weeks ahead. [Elf.]
c. Dress your children in Santa suits. [Slacker—but it is true that last year some baby Santa suits were recalled.]
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Christie Barnes, author of THE PARANOID PARENTS GUIDE, is the mother of triplet 9-yr-olds plus a tween daughter. She is the founder of Paranoid Parents, dedicated to stop parents worrying about the wrong things. Her blog, website, Paranoid Parents Anonymous club, and a dozen successful mini-books are helping parents with a “parent worry” extreme make-over. http://www.paranoidparentsguide.com
Barnes is featured in the upcoming March 2012 Parenting Magazine (both editions). She has appeared recently on ABC News Now. Good Morning America parenting expert Annie Pleshette Murphy said “I love this smart book.” This book was featured in the Sunday New York Times; was the ‘hit’ of NPR, the Chicago Tribune, the LA Times and radio and television across the country.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Christie Barnes, author of THE PARANOID PARENTS GUIDE, is the mother of triplet 9-yr-olds plus a tween daughter. She is the founder of Paranoid Parents, dedicated to stop parents worrying about the wrong things. Her blog, website, Paranoid Parents Anonymous club, and a dozen successful mini-books are helping parents with a “parent worry” extreme make-over. http://www.paranoidparentsguide.com
Barnes is featured in the upcoming March 2012 Parenting Magazine (both editions). She has appeared recently on ABC News Now. Good Morning America parenting expert Annie Pleshette Murphy said “I love this smart book.” This book was featured in the Sunday New York Times; was the ‘hit’ of NPR, the Chicago Tribune, the LA Times and radio and television across the country.
ABOUT THE PARANOID PARENTS GUIDE
The Paranoid Parent’s Guide is Confessions of a Slacker Mom meets The Worst Case Scenario Handbook–an irreverent yet imminently practical guide to help parents shun the alarmist parenting culture while keeping their children, sanity, and their budgets healthy.
ABOUT DAN EVANS
Cartoonist Dan Evans is a London-based illustrator and viral cartoonist. View some of hiss work on idrawforfood.co.uk Cartoon available for reproduction with credit.
